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Are you a grinch?Tell me how many points you got!10 free!?

How to Tell if You're a Grinch This is the second of the essential personality tests to prepare you misfit readers for your New Year's resolutions: 1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points). 2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbour's outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbour's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out). 3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points). 4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points. 5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Wal-Mart, or Kmart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction). 6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.. 7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party). 8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car). 9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year). 10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points). Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100. 20-30: You are just a cheeseball. 30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets. 50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.

Public Comments

  1. No I am not
  2. lol! i got ten points! I guess I'm not too much of a grinch.
  3. I didn't even rate a Cheeseball. I love Christmas. How about points For taking change from the Salvation Army Bins? For melting the neighborhood kid's snowmen? For shooting out Christmas lights with a bbgun? For using Halloween candy you got from trick or treating in your kids' stockings? For taking a needle to all those inflatable Christmas decorations?
  4. Gee -- I am in the Negative Range here -- just a big Santa's Helper. However, you forgot to add these (and these are examples from my own local newspapers and News Shows): -- You drive your car around neighborhoods, over the sidewalks and run over the Displays people put on their yards (and damage their lawns in the process) -- You steal the Baby Jesus from the Church Nativity Display -- You go around with your Remote Light Control unit clicking the off button to see if anyone has the same frequency as your remote light switch is. -- You unplug the Inflatable Displays on people's yards -- You think it is Halloween (or homecoming or whatever) and toss Toilet Paper to see how high you can get strands hanging from peoples trees, a soggy, nasty, vile mess ....) -- You tip the trash cans over -- You stick things out your car window and damage rural mailboxes that are decorated -- You go up and down the street in the middle of the night -- blaring loud rap noises -- You put on your track shoes, and go through the rural neighborhoods at night -- looking for the exterior electrical boxes that are NOT locked -- and pull down the switches shutting power to the home. -- You collect your trash from your vehicle, and instead of a trash can -- you pick a random mailbox to put that garbage in. -- You rob the local restaurants in a Santa Hat
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